Let's Talk About Our Joys

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.”

I read this quote the other day & had a really sad realization:

not only is this totally true in a general sense, but it’s spot-on in terms of the way women bond over talking shit about our bodies.

It’s almost a natural course of conversation for us, like we’ve got to mention at least once while hanging with girlfriends that we feel fat or want to lose weight. We’ve got to discuss the latest beauty trends and tricks and be sure to lament about how badly we need to get in shape and mourn our younger, thinner bodies. 

It’s pretty freakin’ sad.


Body negativity is a BONDING source for women.

Photo by  Kelsey Chance  on  Unsplash

When we get together for drinks or lunch, somehow or another, the topic of our bodies and/or appearance WILL come up.

(And it won’t be in a good way.)

We do this because it’s something we can all relate to.

It’s an easy topic to chew on, a low-hanging fruit on the conversation tree.

Body negativity is a bonding point for us.

That’s sad.

And what’s also sad is that imagining otherwise feels so weird.

Imagining a group of women together—completely satisfied with their bodies—praising each other for their accomplishments at work without simultaneously diminishing their own accomplishments, talking about how great they feel, reveling in how strong they are instead of how skinny they aren’t…

it sounds… fake, right?

Because we’ve been conditioned— by our peers, by the media, by our culture— to constantly be seeking to change our bodies, which makes talking about how unhappy we are with our looks such an easy conversation piece for us.

Body negativity is a bonding point for women.


But what if it weren’t?

What if when we got together with our friends, we complimented each other AND ourselves at the same time?

What if we talked about awesome things that were happening at work, in our families our in our relationships— instead of gabbing about carbs and keto?

What if body POSITIVITY became a bonding point for us?

What if YOU started that trend in your circle of friends?

What would that look like?

What would you say? What would you not say?

I want to start that change in my circle, and I’m inviting you to do the same.

Because that’s the only way things will change.