Big Talk vs. Small Talk

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Ironically, I find small talk pretty exhausting.

“Hey how are you?”

“Any fun plans this weekend?”

“What have you been up to?”

“How’s work going?”

“Did you hear about that giant cow on the news the other day?”
(*seriously, check it out here.)

I say it’s ironic because small talk, by definition, is meant to be easy, polite, silence-filling, chatter. We all have our go-to questions & answers, and by now, most of us are well-practiced enough to do it pretty much on auto-pilot.

So how can it be exhausting? How can we feel tired after an auto-pilot conversation?

Because we were meant for more than just small talk.

Turns out, just staying on the surface requires us to consciously hold one hand on the brake, be even more conscious of what we’re saying so as not to say something “weird,” and such constant vigilance is fatiguing!

Our natural design is to go deeper. We were created to share much more than small talk! We are actually doing exactly what we were designed to do when we choose to participate in “BIG TALK:" — the sharing of our joys, fears, celebrations, problems, questions— all of it.

Yet we choose to bob at the surface because…


Because societal & cultural norms say so?
Because it would be weird to go from “How’s the weather?” to “I’m scared I’m not good enough?”

The truth is, we all share most of the same fears & concerns, joys & celebrations. Why can’t we be brave enough to share them out loud?

For me, what’s more exhausting than bearing it all is trying not to bear it all.

What’s more exhausting than BIG TALK is actually small talk.