LIFE: Who You Are is Who You Are

How you do one thing is how you do everything. 


It’s easy to draw lines between the physical world (our bodies & our surroundings) and the mental world (our attitudes, mindset & that underlying m.o. we all have.)

But I don’t believe in that separation. I don’t think that line exists. As far as I can tell, who you are is who you are and how you are is how you are. 



All the time. 

It’s not to say that when you get angry about that idiot who didn’t use a blinker you’re an angry person all the time. But it is to say, your reaction to another person’s choice which inconvenienced you is the same across the board. 

How you do one thing is how you do everything.
Who and how you are is always who and how you are.


There is no “on/off” switch for kindness or empathy. Being selectively patient is not a thing. You’re precisely as patient/kind/caring/etc. as you are at the most difficult times to display these emotions. It might be a tough pill to swallow, but you're a big kid now, you can do it. There is no difference in who you are at work and who you are at home; who you are as a friend and who you are as a driver.

“That’s not true!” you scoff, “I’m not moody, up tight or boring at home!” (Have you asked the people at home with you?)

“Nooo,” you refute, “I’m only that impatient and quick to anger when some idiot cuts me off.” (Walk me through that process of deciding which situations merit your empathy and understanding and which ones don’t. I’m curious.)

How you do one thing is how you do everything, because who you are is who you are, and how you are is just how you are. 


People fail to see this overlap most in their health & fitness, but this is actually one of the reasons I love fitness so much—because of the inextricable link between the physical and the mental. 

Think that one brownie won’t make a difference? Skipping stretching is no big deal? What other things are you skipping out on and excusing as minute that might actually be important? It’s a habit. How you are in the kitchen is how you are everywhere else, too.

Don’t feel like going to the gym? Said you’d workout 3 times this week but never did? What other important things are you not doing because you don’t “feel like” it? What other commitments are you willing to break?

If you’re not willing to do the small things, why do you think you’ll suddenly be willing to do the big things? If “Only doing the things I feel like doing” is who you are in your health & fitness, guess what— it’s who you are in your relationships, career, and personal life, too. 

That’s the point, here. So many of us think we can pick and choose which bad habits and unhealthy mentalities we’ll leave at the door or carry with us but it doesn’t work that way, because how you do one thing is how you do everything. 

Here are some challenges I have for you. Choose the one at your appropriate skill level.

For the curious, but safe:
look at the bad or unhealthy habits in your physical world and ask yourself how these translate into your mental world.

For the brave: 
ask yourself if you’re okay with the gap between who you are at work, in a traffic jam, at the DMV, etc. and who you are with your partner, your family, at dinner or at the park. 

For the wise:
close the gap. 

More thoughts on how the physical is a manifestation of the mental & why you really can judge a book by its cover on Wednesday’s Living Blog post. Subscribe here.