Your self-concept— the ideas, beliefs and perceptions you have about who & how you are—is literally everything. 

It touches every piece of your life, because how could it not?

It’s who you think you are.

You bring your self-concept with you everywhere you go. It’s there in every relationship, interaction (business & personal) and experience, and so if it’s poor, guess what happens to those relationships, interactions and experiences?

The way you feel about yourself influences every minute of your day.

So, wouldn’t it make sense that if we worked on improving and feeding our self-concept, all of those other things would consequently improve?

Of course it does. 

But self-concept is hard work.
It’s messy.
It’s scary.
It’s vulnerable.
It’s ugly.


So we try to fix other things instead. We try to manipulate factors we think are the problems, but what we’re actually doing is putting band-aids over symptoms.

We try to change those around us, try to get a new job, buy new clothes, post more pictures to get more likes, because those are factors within our reach that are “easy” to manipulate, but they’re also not the problem.

We try to treat all of these symptoms to avoid doing the messy work of addressing the actual cause: our self-concept.

Addressing your self-concept means looking in the mirror. Like, real hard and real honestly. 

(If you’re doing it right, it ain’t no fun.)

Even so, I think we all need to assess our self-concept pretty frequently.

Here are 5 things I do for my self-concept that I encourage you to try, too:

1. Journal

    30 seconds. 5 minutes. 30 minutes. Any form of private reflection time helps me cultivate a relationship with myself that I often forget needs cultivating.

2. Exercise

    A form of meditation and self-connection. Do badass things, listen to badass music. I’m pretty much setting myself up to be a badass. (Or at least think I’m a badass, which is really all that counts.)

3. Self-talk

    Like, “Shut up tiny voice. You got this girl. Look at everything you’ve done! Keep pushing. Keep pressing forward. You’re killin’ it.”

4. Check-ins

    “How are you, self? What’s going on?” When was the last time you just, like, chilled with yourself and caught up? What you do with your BFF when you haven’t seen her in a while— that’s what you need to do with yourself. 

5. Honest celebrations 

    It’s well-over said at this point that we need to take time to celebrate our little victories. And I agree. But we need to do it honestly. We need to feel it. I like to pat myself on the back for things like not stressing when I could have, getting chores done when I didn’t feel like it, responding to emails. And I celebrate honestly. Not just to check it off a list.

Your turn.
Let me ask you: what’s your self-concept like? What are you doing to nurture (or poison) it?